Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
