so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
