around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
