You're a womanizer and a bitch.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
