Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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