They should really pass out barf bags in church
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
