If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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