i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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