like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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