we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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