if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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