This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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