Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
