I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
