After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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