I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
