i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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