You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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