Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
