I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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