We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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