He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
