It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Farmville is her only friend.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Randomize
