watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
zippers are such a cool invention
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
