dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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