After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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