he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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