you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
