You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was born a porn star she said
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
