I'm so fucking centered right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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