So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
