i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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