my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
