I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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