Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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