you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
