You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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