sarcasm needs its own font
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
