ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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