I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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