no you cant smoke seaweed
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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