Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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