Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
