your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
