sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
