Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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