It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My cat gives me a boner
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
