Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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