I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
