He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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