Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
