we have pet lesbian snakes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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