Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
