I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
