I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
