my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
