the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
