You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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