Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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