I'm going to jail i love you
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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