Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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