office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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