And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
