He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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