Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
