Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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