Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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