Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
