just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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