Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
