what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
