And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
